Alive (Roka One shot)
by Onyx JDShadow
Summary: This is a future story its an one shot for a friend. Beware spoilers to Mechies verse!


**_JD: So this is an One Shot I was asked to write forever ago but I didn't want to till Ever After is out first. It introduces multi future pairings so unless you want to be confuse don't read it yet. If you don't care and want to figure out what happens between then and now have fun with that. Just warning that it has spoilers for my stories in it._**

**_Don't own Transformers or the song Alive by Adelitas Way. Please Enjoy!_**

* * *

**_Alive_**

"Roka, are you ready to leave?" I heard a voice I know so well. He's standing in my hallway and I smile back at him.

"Almost, Doc." I call back to him grabbing my over the night bag slipping on my shoes. I step out and softly held my breath as I saw his holoform. This is his actual one not some random one he uses to take care of someone. He smile to me standing up straight. He's holoform is in his forties about but he made it younger looking for me, he's about in his mid thirties, maybe but doubtfully young thirties.

I am Rikchel Jonas Johnson, but everyone calls me Roka. I am right now twenty two years old and been with the Autobots for oh about six years now. The bots just got use to my insanity and Ratchet finally figure out my past mostly. He accepts me for me as does my guardian and other bots that I got so close to.

_What if I told you that I think you're perfect?_

_Beautiful sky in your eyes, it's so worth it._

_I know you make me feel alive._

I got in to the off green, looks more like yellow, hummer that I know so well. He's an off road medical rescue ambulance. I softly run my fingers over his leather seats and his holoform disappears in a static storm type thing of blue. "Doc bot, where are you taking me?" I ask as he start his way down my driveway.

"It's a secret." He answer me. This made me frown. "You won't be bored, I promise, youngling." He assure me as he kept driving.

About thirty minutes in I start to sing a song that shows I'm starting to get bored. I would never do anything to hurt Ratchet. He's one of few that gets me so why would I?

"What are you singing?" He asked after a moment and I smile to the rear view mirror.

"Oh just Beautiful Freak by One Eyed Dolls. Or I think that's who it's by." I told him with a bigger smile. I can hear his chuckling in the

I move over to the door resting my head to the window as I watch the street in a blur. "You okay, youngling?" He asked in a worry like voice.

I yawn slightly and nod my head. "Yeah I am." I answer looking back to the radio and then lean forward kissing his dashboard before grabbing my bag curling up in to his warm seats to go to sleep. "Wake me up when we get there?" I ask. He said he would so I let my eyes shut slowly.

_**~Dreaming~**_

I am sitting on the hood of Ratchet's Alternative form. He's in his holoform beside me. His blond hair is messy as always and glasses aren't on and neither is his lab coat. I smile and lean down with my head on his chest hearing his heartbeat. Wait heartbeat? It suppose to be a buzzing sound! I slightly panic but then saw it was still Ratchet. "What's wrong, Youngling?" He asked me softly. I look up to him but calm down once I heard him.

"I just scared myself nothing big." I lied with a smile. He didn't call me out on it. Strange, he always call me out on my lies.

"Okay." he smile and I laid back down. He start to play with my hair as I look up at him. The sky in his green eyes are so pretty. Wait, green eyes? He is suppose to have neon blue eyes because of his energon! I lean forward more to see if I am seeing things, again. I am not. He has green eyes like mine but darker. "What's wrong, Rikchel?" He asked seriously. I know he's serious because he use my real first name instead of calling me Youngling or Roka.

"Nothing." I smile to him kissing his cheek. He flip me over so my back is to his alt form and his holoform is above me. He lean forward and caught my lips in to a warm loving kiss. I push up kissing him back. He never actually start a kiss with me before, it's always I that start them. I know he enjoys them, most of all when he's in one of his grumpy moods because of one of the two sets of twins.

I softly moan as he got a little more aggressive and he pull away needing air. That's also strange, he never breathed hard before with me but of course he doesn't need air any other time than now. "Wake up, Youngling." He told me and I gave him a puzzle look. "We are here." He told me.

**_~End of Dream~_**

I open my eyes and rub them with another yawn. "What I miss?" I asked as I look around.

I'm inside of his alt form and he's not in holoform yet. "Nothing yet." He told me opening the door so I can get out. I grab my bag and jump out carefully and then I heard the static like noise and turn to see Ratchet in his holoform behind me. "Ready?" He asked with his arm out for me to take. I wrap both my arms around his after putting my bag over my shoulder.

We walked out to the sandy beach and found a place where we can see a girl with orange hair and two boys who look identical wait for us. "Hey! Roka!" One of the twins yell waving at us. His hair is darker brown than his twin with red streaks and a sliver like swim trunks. His twin is lighter brown with bleach streaks and dark blue swim trunks.

"Hey, Sides!" I yell waving at him. "Sunny!" I call to his twin.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" His twin yelled and he start to come over to us but the girl stopped him and pull him down to where she's sitting. I laugh and Ratchet gave me an amused look.

_What if I told you that I'm in forever?_

_Nothing to hide, yeah, I'll go wherever you go._

_You make me feel alive._

Ratchet got us to where there is flat areas on rocks and we sat down on it curling up together as we watch the others play in water or sand. My twins, Mudflap and Skids, have their hands full with the two older girls that showed up a few years ago, Seira and Lena. They are so funny. Seira is a mutant and I know this because I've seen her eyes when she's mad. She's not much older than me maybe a few months.

I felt someone touch my stomache and pull me to them. I look back to Ratchet smiling then sitting in his lap softly kissing his neck. He smile and let me stay there as the sun start to set. I don't swim. It's not that I can't I just don't. "Ratchet?" I got his attention. He look down to me and I slightly start to fidget with my baggy shirt. "I wanted to know why again we can't be together?" I ask as I went back to fidgetting.

"Rikchel, we talked about this. It's dangerous for me to Sparkmate with you." He told me and wipe away the hair from my face. I didn't even notice that it fell out of my ponytail.

"But, I don't care aobut that Ratchet. You know I will never find someone I love that's human." I told him and he shook his head.

"You will one day." He said denying what we both know will happen.

"Ratchet. I love you not anyone else." I said burying my head in to his chest. He wrap his arms around me carefully.

"Rikchel, it's to dangerous." He mummer in to my hair as he held me close to him.

"I will follow you anywhere, you already know this." I told him and he tried to ignore me.

We got up after the others got out to us. NEST officials, Epps and Will along with others, with the non-officials, mainly me and Sage. Will hand me a beer and I passed it straight to my big cousin who just gave me a look. "Ew." I pointed to the beer which made him roll his eyes. "What time is it?" I asked and someone answer me and I look back to him with a grin. "No. It's Adventure Time!" I scream and I heard Sage and the others that knows me laugh or palm-face. I smile back to them and I saw Ratchet shaking his head. "What the Math!?" I screamed at him and he smirk to me but still didn't laugh or do anything else.

_And I'll be hanging on every word you say to me._

_Hanging on a feeling that I get,'_

_Cause you make me_

We all went out to where we can start a fire and hang out. I sat down beside the holoform Ratchet. "You know Roka can probably qoute anything you have ever said that she heard?" Jon, my older cousin, said as he look over to the others.

"Really?" Asked one of the girls at NEST, Tessa I think her name is? I am not sure. I shrug and lean against Ratchet as she talked to Jon and the others. I don't know much about her or the others around her.

"Her brain hangs on to anything and everything is told to her or she pays attention to." Jon shrug. His brown hair is a mess and his forest green eyes sparkle just in the right places when the light of the fire hit them making him look like a wizard.

I shook the crazy mythical idea out of my head and lean back looking at my twins who are trying to prank Seira but not working. She can easily figure them out it seems. Ratchet reach forward and softly brush my hair from my face. When he did he slightly shock me and my face where his hand touch tingle. I look to him and smile and lean forward resting against him again. My heart is beating fast and I know he can tell. He knows why it is too.

"Skids!" I heard Seira screech out and an off road Mercedes-Benz ML320 SUV came to life then a moment later it shut off an a big man came out of the driver's side storming down the sand. He's wearing cowboy boots and hat. He reach over grabbing Skids and Mudflap by the back of their neck and pull them away from Seira. The light brown hair girl, almost looks like a blond, just blink a few times then laugh. "Hey, Brawnsy." She said in a sweet voice.

'Brawnsy' made the twins appologize then he pull them away threatening to turn them in to scrap metal if they mess with his gal again. I just smile and then start to giggle. X-Brawns can get super protective of Seira and his two charges. I think their names are Heather and Emily.

_Laugh a little louder,_

_Love a little harder._

Seira ends up sitting in Holoform X-Brawn's lap and sips on a beer as the others talk. I am using Ratchet as my personal pillow till Richard shows up. My big brother is late, again. "What do you have, Cheri?" I heard a Cajun accent I know so well. I look up to Seira as she look at my hands. I move them out to show the necklace that I'm playing with. It's just a simple chain and a single onyx stone on the end. "That's pretty." She said in amazement.

"It was my grandmomma's." I told her as I went back to playing with the stone. It won't break.

"This belong to my Pa." She said taking out a necklace from under her shirt and it is really pretty looking. I lean forward and touch the white strange looking rock in the center and it's sharp making me squeak pulling back. "It's a real Alligator tooth." She inform me. A drop of blood form on tip of my finger and I stuck it in my mouth. "I'm sorry, Cheri, I should have said it was sharp." She frown slightly making her dark eyes look sad somewhat.

"Not ya fault." I told her once my finger stop bleeding. "Me being a dumb-dumb." I said with a smile.

"Roka!" I heard Jon yell and look over to the other side of the fire.

"Oh pretty." I said with wide eyes looking at the fire. Jon palm-face at the fact that he called me and the pretty fire distracting me.

"Rikchel, your cousin is speaking to you." I heard Ratchet tell me and I look up to him then to where Jon is aggravated now.

"What?" I asked him clueless.

"Never mind." Jon gave up walking a way making me pout at him.

I look up at Ratchet who I can tell will refuse to tell me. I jump up running around the fire carefully not to catch my clothes or hair on fire and jump on Jon's back. "Tell me!" I screech out making everyone that has known me these pass six years or longer to cover their ears.

_And I feel alive when I'm with you._

_Every time it's something new._

_Never knew what love could feel like_

_Until I walked away the first time._

When I let go of Jon after he promise to tell me and then he asked something that made me remember something I'd like to forget. "The first time you left NEST. Why was it?" He ask and I close my eyes tightly.

"I wanted to get my head cleared." I told him the reason I've told everyone.

"Cleared about what?" He asked me putting his hand on my shoulder. He's forcing down his country accent that we both have thickly but I just don't speak all of the time. I know my accent is always there but sometimes I speak proper and others I speak what my mom calls 'hillbilly' because that's just who I am.

"Nothing." I said with a force smile then ran off to annoy Ratchet, though he says I can't annoy him. I know he loves me he just scared that he will accidently kill me. I love him with all my heart and I know I do. I was born the wrong thing. I am not suppose to be human but Cybertronian.

Five years ago I left NEST because I realized I'm in love with Ratchet. The old doc bot has feelings for me too and willing to show it but won't let me become anything more than a passing thing. He's scared he will kill me and I know this but still it hurts. I want nothing more but to be at his side and he turn me down. Once I left it hurt more and I couldn't even leave my room till that day he showed up at my house. The first time I've seen his real holoform.

Years of abuse and even being rape had made me not realize what love really is. This giant great alian being changed that for me. He loved me for my crazy self. That what made me fall for him, I think.

_And I feel alive when I'm with you._

_Deep inside, it's something true._

_You're the only reason I fight,_

_You're the best thing in my life._

When I lost myself he brought me back to myself. He changed me for the better I think. I fight now to survive for him. The longer he has me the longer I get to live and be loved. He's my best friend, my love. "Ratchet!" I squeal jumping at him and making us fall over the place where he was sitting and tumble in to the sand. I laugh as he brush the sand off of himself and he sent me a glare. I look around and notice the others were slightly ignoring us so I lean forward and pull him to me kissing him.

I can feel him stiffen up then he loosen up kissing me back softly but pull away. I moved so he could get up then he helped me up. He steady me as we walked over to an area where the others couldn't see us. I pull him to me and kiss him softly and let him take control after a moment. He pull away and let me catch my breath and I smile up to him. "You okay?" he asked softly down to me and I nod my head. He kiss my forehead softly as he pull me back to the group. He doesn't like showing PDA in front of the others. I know he's just trying to be a gentleman but it annoys me some what when he don't let me kiss him in public. Even boss-bot has gotten smooch in public!

I wrap myself tighter in to his arms and he look down to me confuse. "I'm cold." I pout and he roll his eyes letting me stay there knowing good and well I'm not that cold. The others talked and I slightly tune them out going off to my own little world.

"Roka?" Someone called me making me look around till my eyes land on Richard. I jump up and wrap my arms around my big brother's neck. He's taller than me but not super tall, only like six feet. He steady me on the ground making me let go of him. His brown shaggy hair covering his green eyes that are identical to mine. My hair is lighter than his though. "Sorry I'm late." He said to the others and made me go back to Ratchet.

"Richard?" I turn to my big brother. He did a mhm sound to let me know I'm listening. "Can I have a puppy?" I ask sweetly.

"We already had this conversation." He said flatly when Will and Epps both bust out laughing. They were there for that conversation.

"Then a kitty?" I ask sweetly.

"No." He again answer flatly.

"A snake?" He gave me the dirtiest look imaginable.

"Knowing you, it will bite you." Ratchet stepped in giving me a look I know to well. It's one that means I need to stop. I softly bit my lip. "No to an alligator too." He answer my next question which made my eyes go wide and I can hear Seira and Brawns laughing in the background.

_What if I told you that I'd never hurt you?_

_Always be there for you to hold on to._

_I know you make me feel alive._

"Magic!" I screamed pointing at Ratchet.

"No. Logic." He said simply.

"Magic. You read my mind through magic!" I screamed at him which made him roll his human looking eyes and he look to Richard for help but my hillbilly brother is laughing so badly he can barely breathe. So is Brawns and Seira now I think about it. "Ratchet has magic powers!" I scream running around in a circle around Ratchet.

"What is the nut-job screaming about?" A girl with pretty red hair and glowing brown eyes asked as she walked over to us. Behind her is a man with dark brown hair and glowing blue eyes. He's well built with a black outfit on and a scar beside one of his eyes.

"Ratchet has magic." I told her stopping in my track. She gave me a what the hell look. "He read my mind." I stated simply.

"How can Alina stand you?" She asked in disgust and I stuck my tongue out at her. Primula is in control meaning Alina is asleep.

The man behind her is looking amused and it took me a minute to add together who that is. "Ironhide, dis be the first time me saw ya in holoform." I said to him. He raise his eyebrow then shrugged.

Behind me I am pulled down in to the spot I was before. "Roka." Ratchet's voice is strict leaving no room to argue. I cling to him slightly as I remember back when he got me to come back to NEST. He told me he would be here for me no matter what but when time comes he will want me to be happy and have a normal life like all humans want. I'm not all humans, I'm Roka. I don't want a normal life. I want him to hold me no matter what.

Since he made that promise though he hasn't hurt me since. He is an idiot at times about emotions, not body stuff just emotions. A few times someone has to explain what I meant or he googles it.

_And every single second's a lifetime memory,_

_I'll be holding on to every moment,'_

_Cause you make me_

_Laugh a little louder,_

_Love a little harder._

Even if I do somehow get a normal life, want one or not, it wouldn't matter because all my memories and mind will be on Ratchet. He makes me laugh. He makes me happy. He makes me love more then my brother and cousin.

He let me rest against him again as the others talked and goof off. I start to talk about the unborn and how good they are. Some of the people who don't know me very well moved away from me. The bots all looked amused as did the ones that do know me. "I'm hungry." I said covering my stomach and look up to Ratchet. "Tummy says feed me."

By then Boss-bot came pulling up and two people got out of the huge eighteen wheeler. The man holding a sleeping girl about five years old. "She fell asleep." The woman said. Her hair is long blond with blue tips. She's pretty with dark eyes or at least I think they are dark. The man with the little blond hair girl has black hair and wearing a red shirt with a blue jacket that has flames going up the sleeves. He's also wearing blue jeans and black boots.

"Boss-bot, did you know your medic has magic?" I asked him and he gave Ratchet a confuse as hell look.

"She was going through a very rare logical thought pattern and I figured out what would cross her mind next." He said and Prime nod his head but still giving me a strange look. I shrug and start to chew on Ratchet's hand. "What are you doing?" He asked me softly.

"Tummy says hungry." I told him again. He sigh and it seemed annoyed one. My brother is laughing so hard I think he'll pass out from lack of air.

Sage came over grabbing my arm pulling me away from Ratchet and dragged me over to where some of the men is. "No unborn but there's food over here." She pointed out and hand me a paper plate. "Now stop chewing on Ratch." She thump my ear though she's being her normal self the orange hair girl still confuse me sometimes.

I stuck my tongue out at her and got some food. I went back to the fire and sat down beside Ratchet munching happily at my food. "Watch it she might eat the bone again." Jon called out from where he is by the food.

"Can normal humans eat bone?" Sunstreaker ask beside Sage.

"Is Roka a normal human?" Sage ask looking up at him.

"No." He answer at once. I just stuck my tongue out at them.

"Roka, eat." Ratchet told me in a serious voice so I did.

_And I feel alive when I'm with you._

_Every time it's something new._

_Never knew what love could feel like_

_Until I walked away the first time._

I finish my food and Ratchet made me throw away the bones, watch me do it too. I sat back down beside him as they all start to tell horror stories. I am not interested so I instead start to poke Ratchet's side. He look down at me and then whisper where I could only hear him. "Tag." He said poking my side. I smile remembering back when I first met him.

"Tag." I giggled poking him back. He smile down to me and then we both end up glaring at Sage's twins. Mine know better.

"Ratchet the Hatchet is smiling." Sideswipe said in a state of shock. Sunstreaker looks slightly scared of the medic and I.

"Don't call him that." I growl at them. Sides put up his hands like he ment no harm. I kept growling and Richard who was sitting by them got up and moved to the other side of the fire sitting down by Seira and Brawn.

"Sorry." He said in slight fear. Sideswipe seen me mad at a bot and he really doesn't want to be on that side of me. That list I have a short fuse for. Pretty sure Elita is still missing a few bolts from when I went off on her. She deserved it for calling me stupid. I'm insane, I admit that. I am out going, I'll admit that too. I am NOT stupid.

"Oh, you gone and did it now!" Sunstreaker yelled at his twin who is also in trouble with me if Sideswipe is. They learn I don't let their twin off either by when MY twins act up. Speaking of which, they are chanting at the 'terror twins' which is kind of cute.

"Ya in trouble, ya in trouble." They chant.

"Ya don't piss off the crazy woman dat knows how ta dismantle ya in recharge." I heard a thick voice that made me spin and smile at the three men walking over to us. One is bigger then the other two around the waist. He's wearing a red shirt with a target symbol above his heart area. The other two wearing racing outfits, one is green the other blue. The one that was speaking, the blue one smile to me. "Ya are one crazy woman." He said patting my head.

"Hey, Wreckers." I chirp up. Can't stay mad when my partner in crime will help me get revenge later.

_And I feel alive when I'm with you. _

_Deep inside, it's something true. _

_You're the only reason I fight,_

_You're the best thing in my life._

The three Wreckers all sat down with us along with the drivers they brought along. The blue one, my guardian, Topspin is listening in on Leadfoot and Richard's argument over different ways to build guns and how to perfect them. This isn't interesting to me so I instead went over to Roadbuster and poke him. He look up to me with a raise eyebrow. "Tag." I told him and he shook his head smiling.

"Ya are a strange one, femme." He said to me and I stuck my tongue out at him.

I skip around the fire saying random crap backwards till my guardian caught me and pull me over to the others making me sit between my brother and him. He's just like a big brother to me too now I think about it. Leadfoot is my partner in crime when it comes to stuff pull. Roadbuster is the guy that gets me out of trouble, he's such a sweet heart. That leaves Topspin like a big brother to me. I look up to him and smile. Yeah, big brother too.

I glance to Ratchet who looks slightly jealous and amuse. I stuck my tongue out at him. He roll his eyes at me again and then look to the others. He is enjoying observing normal human behavior like this. I know he is. He can't observe me because of the fact I'm far from normal.

I smile and went to messing my brother and Topspin. They both are used to me messing with them by now but still cute how when I say something they answer me with nearly no emotions in their voice. They don't even pretend to be scared or freaked out anymore. I licked Richard's cheek and all he did was wipe it off and raise an eyebrow at me. "Really?" He ask and I nod. "Ya really wanna go dere?" He smirk and I jump up running away. It's hard to run in sand and harder when he corner me in to the water.

My jeans are getting wet and my shoes are goners. So is his. He had me cornered and he pounced me pushing me under the water and then let me up to breathe. I glare at him and splash him as he laugh out. I swam away and that's when a memory surface making me freak out. No matter how much I kick my legs and move my arms I couldn't swim and I was being pulled under. Having a panic attack till I felt someone wrap their arms around me and pull me to the land. I look up at my big brother as he look to me worriedly. "Sorry." I cough out getting the water that got in my lungs out. It burns and nasty.

"Don't be." He said softly to me. My eyes are tearing up but I don't let them fall as I felt others around me but don't actually notice who they are till one of them holds me close to him. I look up to see Ratchet as he move my hair and makes me go to his alternative form. Once there he scans me and okays me to join the others again. I smile kissing him softly and rest my head on his chest. I didn't get out of his alt form like he figured I would I stayed there in his holoform arms sitting inside of his alt form.

_And I feel alive when I'm with you._

_When I'm with you._

_And I feel alive when I'm with you._

_Every time it's something new._

_Never knew what love could feel like_

_Until I walked away the first time._

I close my eyes then look up at him. "I only happy when I'm with you." I whisper to him and he raise an eyebrow. "I may have happy moments but never truly happy." I softly grip his shirt with red life pulse symbol on the chest. He let me cling to him as tears stain my face. "I'm alive when I'm with you." I whisper softly and he holds me closer to him. Before he would be only a friend, he never let me kiss him or anything like that but eventually after I left our relationship changed some. We are now this.

"Everyday it's something new with you but lately you won't drop that." He said softly to me. He's talking like he's speaking to a scared child which to him he might be.

"I didn't know what love could feel like till I notice I was in love with you." I softly cried. All he did was softly grip back of my shirt. "Until I left NEST the first time." He didn't say anything still just hold me closer to him. I crawl out of his holoform arms and he looks heartbroken, sparkbroken, from it but then he saw me move to his front and kiss his steering wheel. He shook slightly in both forms and I smile softly raking my teeth over his steering wheel making him pull me back in to the back with him and he snuggle close to me with a slight smile.

He softly kiss the top of my head and let me lay in the back of his alternative form with him beside me. Belong he had to make his holoform disappear but I don't care I'm still inside of him so I am still safe.

_And I feel alive when I'm with you._

_Deep inside, it's something true._

_You're the only reason I fight,_

_You're the best thing in my life._

I fall asleep again and smile as I got my clothes out and changed real fast knowing he wouldn't do anything to me and not really caring if he sees me naked. He has seen worst. After I changed I crawl up to the front passenger seat and curl up going to asleep. I can tell by way he is right now he's in recharge too. I smile before my eyes shut completely. Memories and dreams of him are being played in my mind.

I love him more then he will ever realize. Something about him always attracted me from him and I know this for a fact. It's true and loving. He gave me a reason to fight.

I fought against my parents when they came for me because of him. I fought against the man who destroyed my life so many years ago when he showed up. I fought against my so call family that suppose to love me. I fought against them all plus the people at school, for him. I need to survive this twisted world for him.

Without him I would have still been lost. He changed me. He made me who I am. He made me better person in all. Maybe a little less crazy but I'm still me because of him. He's the best thing in my life. He will always be the man I love even if he won't accept it.


End file.
